Words to inspire – Get rid of self-doubt

One of the biggest killers of progression for me previously, was self-doubt. Oh my gosh, it blocked so many things. I wouldn’t even try certain things because I thought “Nah I’m not good enough.” It was deep!

Yesterday evening, I was talking to a group of young people about loving themselves and believing in their ability. For some reason the majority of them felt it was a weird thing to love themselves and believe that they are great. I think it’s a cultural thing in the country we live in. We aren’t very good at celebrating ourselves. We’re far to modest which can be destructive at times too. Out of these things self-doubt can grow.

One young person told me they couldn’t draw but at school, people have said art could be a strong subject for them. I put some paper in front of them and told that young person to draw whatever came to mind and get rid of that ‘I can’t do’ theory. I watched them sit for ages drawing different images and commenting on how lovely particular colours were. That young person was so proud to show the work to others after that and let me take pictures of the work for our photo collage which they do not normally like me doing.

This was a familiar characteristic for me so I just knew. I would talk my way out of lots of things because I doubted myself. I doubted the fact that my work, my project, my anything would be any good. Even if I thought it was good I didn’t think it would be good enough in the eyes of others so I wouldn’t continue with it or push it to the next level. That self-doubt stopped me from climbing up a lot of trees and walls.

I was also that kid who would put their hand up in class to answer questions but when the teacher selected me, lots of times I would say “oh no I’ve forgotten.” I never forgot really, I just didn’t believe my answer was very good until the next person would say what I was going to say, then I would be absolutely gutted that I doubted myself.

I used to be a bit of a perfectionist too. I still am to some degree but not as bad as before. This would mean I wouldn’t attempt something unless I knew everything there was to know to get it right first time. I wasted many years doing that. It was ridiculous! Even though I knew I had some skills, until I felt I was an expert in that thing, no one else will know about it and those things would be hidden within my household collecting dust.

I look back now and think ‘oh boy’ if only I tried. However, thankfully lots of great things in my life have occurred because I got over some aspects of self-doubt. I wouldn’t have been having a conversation with that young person and be able to inspire them if I doubted the ability to run such a provision.

I’ve also been sent great people that tell me to stop being stupid when I come up with stupid reasons why I can’t do something. It’s good to gather people around you that you can be accountable to. Those that will get you to challenge the rubbish in your head. I thank God for those people in my life that will just contact me and say “So what have you done today about that?” It causes me to battle those negative voices in my head and not always wait for validation before I believe I can do something.

Now instead of telling myself I can’t do something I look for reasons for why I can at least try. Self-doubt slows our progress and stops us from climbing to the top of trees or mountains. We miss the beauty that we could possibly see if we were at a different height. We can either stay where we are or grow?

Peace and love

MrsJK