Words to inspire Alphabet Advent Calendar 2312

Day 23

W is for Well.

There are a few different ways that ‘well’ can be used. It can be used at the start of another word like Well-being, Well-led. It comes before ‘done’ to congratulate someone. I use it a lot at the end of a sentence when I start a text or an email Hi, hope you are well. It also ends one of my favourite phrases “It is well.”

The dictionary gives a few definitions:

Adverb

1. in a good or satisfactory way.
2. in a thorough manner.
“add the mustard and lemon juice and mix well”

Adjective
1. in good health; free or recovered from illness.
There’s also a well that holds water but I’ll leave that for another day.

I am going to explore the good health and free definition. What comes to mind when I think of being well is being and feeling good. I’ve been in some very dark places in my life and at those times I would not have defined myself as being well. Those that know me really well, will know by my response when they asks me how I am. When I’m not good I won’t always say so but I definitely won’t respond with “I’m well.” or “I’m very well.” I might not always be good at telling people how I’m feeling but I’m not good at lying either.
If things aren’t well, you will probably get a response like “I’m not bad.” Or “I’m ok.” Which means I’m not great but things could be worse. However when I say “It is well.” This comes from a place of faith. It might not be all good at that precise moment but I am confident that God will work it out for my good. People that know me personally will probably start watching what I say now lol.
Being free has helped me to be well. When I had lots of drama in my life I was not good mentally. I would be quite stressed or tearful. Lots of things were due to myself and other things were caused by external factors. When certain chains were broken I began to be well in my head and in my general health.

What makes us well? For me when I take care about my physical, mental and spiritual well-being I am well. I’m better at looking after my physical body now. I’ve recently being diagnosed with a few things so I have to take medication and be mindful of what I do and what I eat. If I know I’m allergic to nuts and I am reckless and just eat them anyway, only by God’s grace will it end well.
There are times we consciously or subconsciously make ourselves unwell. I was guilty of this. I used to feel responsible for people I had no business feeling responsible for. That used to weigh me down. At one point I thought I was here to save the world so I was passionate about everyone else’s journey and willed for everyone to be well. I still have that hope for people but I understand that I’m not God so I can’t make that happen for people I am not obsessively involved in other people’s lives now. I’m not trying to know everything so I can help fix them. I can encourage and motivate but I can’t fix lives.
This year I recognised something that was making me unwell. It was having the same expectations of others that I had of myself. I would do certain things for people and be there for people in a certain way but when it came to me I didn’t receive the same thing back. This caused me lots of pain and distress. I also started to become quite angry and resentful.
One day I had a lightbulb moment. I realised that my expectations of other people were unrealistic. These people weren’t me and will never be me. I am the way I am because of how I was created and due to my experiences. Until a person is born on the same day of the same year as me, has the same genetic make-up, has lived in my shoes everyday and bears the same name, they can never be me or like me. Even those that are similar are still not me.
I stopped having expectations in other human beings to the levels I was having and omg my life and mental health transformed. I am so much better. I am so well at the moment! Anything I get from others is welcomed but if I don’t receive it, there’s no let down because I didn’t expect it. I didn’t deal with rejection well but this way there’s no rejection. Don’t get me wrong I still have some expectations but they aren’t beyond the sun, stars and the moon for these people like before.
I am feeding myself daily with positivity. I have had lots of quiet times to listen, read, pray and meditate, so spiritually I am well. Writing this Advent Calendar blog has helped me on some deep levels too. I am enjoying life to the maximum by ensuring my own needs are met as well as those I am truly responsible for.
Another W word that has made me unwell in the past was ‘worry’. Oh gosh I used to worry about everything and anything. I would worry about things that might never happen, how people perceived me, whether my actions contributed to disasters, you name it, my worrying mind was there. It was draining. I almost had a mental breakdown because of worry. It’s was serious.
Things in life still cause concern at times but I deal with them differently now and leave them in the hands of the Lord. Whatever will be will be. I’m confident that it will be well in the end.
As we head towards Christmas and the end of this year, please do us both a favour… Please look at the things in your life that have made you unwell in 2016 and before. Is there anything you can do, to help you to recover from this and be well? If so, please please do it. It might be to finally let go of something or someone. It might be needing to change your lifestyle and start caring more about yourself. You might have to recognise your worth and value yourself and others more than you do.
I truly believe when we put good things inside us, good things also come out. I feel like I’m standing on my head right now because I’m taking care of me and I’m being looked after. I have the same hope for you. Life won’t always be smooth sailing. Trials and tribulations may come but we will handle them better when we are well.
Be Well!

Peace and love

MrsJK