Words to inspire Alphabet Advent Calendar 2112

Day 21

U is for unique and uniqueness

One of my organisations promotes exploring our uniqueness. One of the reasons for that is because we have the vision for everyone we work with to discover themselves and embrace their uniqueness. We acknowledge that everyone is different and everyone has a unique way of learning things. We believe that we all need different resources for our unique purposes too. We facilitate the explorations by giving individuals relevant tools and coaching them, but they journey through in the way that is true to them. We do this through music, the arts and sports. I have seen so much beauty in these explorations. My own children have developed through them.

The dictionary gives the following definitions:
1. being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else.
2. belonging or connected to (one particular person, place, or thing).
3. particularly remarkable, special, or unusual.

I spent many years trying to fit in and being something I was not designed to be. I watched how other people did things, how people I admired dressed and I tried to mimic certain things. Some things were helpful but some things were not suitable for my character, so no matter how much I tried, it didn’t work for me.
I struggled with rejection and wanted to be accepted so I thought if I do things like this and that I would fit in the circle. I tried that in my old jobs but I soon realised that I couldn’t be anyone else but me and yes some people found me peculiar but that drew them to me.
I hated injustice so I often challenged it with people who others wouldn’t.
I am quite quirky and a bit off the wall at times but there was one time in my life whereby I started to try and curb some of it in particular places. I remember once I was in church and just started leading worship there. For some reason I changed my usual style because I thought I needed to do it in a certain way to fit in. One lady came up to me after and asked me whether I was being me or was I holding back on who I was. I was a bit shocked because I thought I disguised it well. She didn’t know me that well at the time either so the fact that she even noticed was like wow. I went away and reflected on that. I realised I wasn’t very good at being like others so I stopped it and learnt to love me and be me. Besides it was hard work trying to get into another character all the time.
I didn’t fully understand me at the time. I now know it’s my purpose to be just as I was created. Yes I’m a little wacky and also very childlike at times, but I’m also quite deep and have been given wisdom beyond my years. It’s ok to be like that. I connect well with the people I have been assigned to connect with due to my unique character. If I was anyone else perhaps it wouldn’t work so well?!
My boy’s friends always tell my boy that he has a really cool mum. It’s usually because I join in their football and basketball games and I tell them how super impressed I am at their video creations. I suggested that they create on their YouTube channel to display their gaming videos but in a safe way. It is amazing though and they get lots of hits. They might think it’s cool but I’m also being strategic. If my son gets paid and make millions I know he will sort me out too. I’ve told them I want a cut when they start hitting the big time.
I have learnt to get the balance right with him because he still has a curfew and a set time to come away from the laptop and he totally respects that and his friends do too. Sometimes they remind him that he has to get off and go. It’s brilliant. He works so hard so I encourage him to play hard too and enjoy being him.
I had a conversation with lil lady a while ago about fitting in and being like everyone else. She didn’t want to be singled out or viewed as different. It did break my heart at first but then I helped her identify her uniqueness and celebrate it. I gave her the example of the different parts of our body. She loves medical science and biology so this worked well. If we were all a little finger, who would be the thumb? Who would be able to grab a pencil and draw. If everyone liked pop music why would there be a need for jazz, soul and classical music. She was horrified by that. She loves jazz, soul classical music. It made her think though.
The other day she walked around with a tennis racket and ball on her head and as she walked the ball moved around the racket. It was so cool but wacky. I laughed and thought ‘only you’. In all my years of wackiness, I’ve never thought to try that out. She was well pleased with herself. I used that to remind her of her uniqueness. We all think different and some of us are more creative whereas some of us are very logical.

We all live and have lived unique lives too. No one will ever fully understand what I have been through but at the same time I can never fully understand what other people go through. There might be similarities so I can relate with them in part but not with every detail. Our experiences also make us unique and we can’t get away from that. It will be boring if everyone was the same. There will be no light, colour or shade.
I have lots of incredible friends but one in particular is such an amazing woman but she is so unbelievably cheeky. Not rude just cheeky. Sometimes I’m screaming like omg did she just say that out loud? In their face and everything. She is so real and you take her as she is or leave her. I love her deep deep down in my soul and I wouldn’t change her for the world. She really inspires me too. Her cheekiness makes her ballsy and she could probably sell ice cream in the Antarctic. I’m so glad she doesn’t try to change.
Part of loving ourselves is about truly knowing ourselves and not trying to change the fundamental things that make us who we are especially due the way other people view us. Life is not a popularity contest. I used to feel drained working hard for people to like me. Now I don’t try. If you do you do, if not oh well.
Our characters may be shaped over time and we grow and change in lots of ways. That could be very positive as long as we don’t try to eradicate our uniqueness and become something we were not designed to be. I have a funny feeling that life will not work as well for us if we do that. Well it didn’t work for me.
I love me and my life now, warts and all because I embrace my uniqueness.

Peace and love

MrsJK