Words to inspire Alphabet Advent Calendar 1612

Day 16

P is for purpose.

Some mornings I wake up thinking ‘what do I write about?’ At times I struggle with a few words until I get the one that feels right for the day. Prior to today I had another word in mind but when I woke up this morning I forgot about that word. Due to what’s going on in my life right now, the word ‘purpose’ is the only word that will do. I like to explore a word that’s meaningful to me too, so I can share my own experiences and hopefully there will be something other people will get out of my real life stories.

Here’s what the dictionary states:

Noun

1. the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
2. a person’s sense of resolve or determination.

Verb
1. have as one’s intention or objective.

When I was younger, like I discussed previously, I didn’t fully understand my purpose. I thought my reason for existence was to meet other people’s needs. However around that I did have other ambitions.
I went to University and studied Law. I had every intention of being a lawyer. I thought I was born for that and that was my purpose. It wasn’t until I completed my degree, did I realise my heart was not in it as much. I think I also did it because it was a career that was viewed highly in the minds of my parents.
Even though I didn’t practice Law there was still a purpose in studying it. I studied Law with Sociology and together they set me up for my first full time job. I also met one of my best lifetime friends/sisters at Uni. If I went there just to meet her, then I’m forever grateful to God for that. Through my first full time job and all the positions that followed, I met other people who are also lifelong friends and family now.
When my children were diagnosed on the Autistic Spectrum originally I thought oh boy. Even though there are challenges everyday, I now also understand that the diagnosis is for a purpose. I have met and reconnected with friends who I call sisters and brothers because of my children’s diagnosis. I can not imagine life without them. One of them helped me start my journey to freedom.

I was speaking to one of my girls this about in the week. We confirmed that our circumstances and children often prepare us for a career we never even imagined. I wouldn’t be doing half the things I do now if my children weren’t diagnosed on the spectrum.
I am able to run my ‘Tune into ASD’ Autism Awareness talks for parents, for schools and other professionals because of my experiences and training in the jobs I have done but ultimately because of my personal experiences. A couple of months ago a local faith school booked me to deliver a Tune into ASD talk for their staff. They specifically wanted to explore a Christian response to ASD and how to support children and families with that in mind. I was able to design and deliver a unique talk on that subject due to my life experiences. When I was up there talking, I knew I was born to do that. Twenty years ago, I would not have been able to call that one.
Sometimes our purpose isn’t realised until we do something well, do not do something well or doors open and close. I have had a love for music since I was a little girl. When I struggled with my emotions and pain I used to write songs. Some of my most beautiful songs were written out of pain. I’m not saying the bad things that happened to me were planned and meant to happen because I don’t know the answer to that, but what I do know is out of those things a purpose was realised. I am now able to coach children and young people to explore their uniqueness through music, build self esteem and confidence, and give them an anger management outlet as well as help them explore other emotions. I am very good at doing that because I have my own personal experiences of that, so somehow when I see certain things I just know how to connect and engage.
I truly believe that everyone has a unique purpose. Seasons can change so there could be lots of different purposes but we all have one. I’ve spoken to some parents of children with quite severe needs and they have wondered what their children’s purpose could be or what they will become. We’re not all made to have a unique ability. Some children’s purpose could just to be here and smile. Some may be here to teach us how to love unconditionally. I know my children did that for me. I thought I knew about love before, but nah! Now I understand it more.
When my children kept me up all night I loved them, when they had uncontrollable meltdowns I loved them. When my life was turned around, shaken upside down and back again, I loved them. I accept other people especially other children better because of what my children have taught me. I think that’s why I have success with some of the hard to engage children. Some of their issues are nothing compared to what I have dealt with first hand.
The Almighty chose me to be my children’s mum. That is my purpose. I was also chosen to be step mum to my step children. That’s my purpose. It is my purpose to be MrJK’s wife even when he gets on my nerves lol. Let’s not get it twisted, marriage isn’t a bed of roses every single day.
The circle of life is such that we are born, we live and then we die. It’s an inevitable process. Even if we only live for a short time, there’s a purpose in that. We may not understand it, it’s still a mystery to me especially with regards to why babies and children pass on in such early years. However, I’m sure one day even beyond this life, it will all be revealed.
Since being free, all I want to do is live a purposeful life. I have come to realise that as long as I’m journeying on in the right direction I am doing just that. There is a purpose in everything I’m doing right now. I might not look at my salary and think ‘yay’ but I know I need to do the jobs I’m doing right now. They are all for a bigger plan. That I’m confident in. Besides, money isn’t everything and everything I do right now brings me great joy and pleasure. I’m also touching lives and connecting with those I have been purposed to connect with. That is priceless.
The other day, a child asked me whether I think I was sent to that particular place because of her. I just looked at her for ages because it was a bit of profound thing for someone of her age to say and it was just so random and out of the blue. I didn’t get into the conversation with her, I just said I’m not sure, but in my head I thought wow, if I’ve been sent to a particular place and my purpose is to help transform one life then that in itself is an honour. I need to make sure I do everything to my very best.
OMG, that thought stuck with me for days. It actually transformed my thinking even more. I will never do anything half-heartedly ever again. If I’m confident that I’m not meant to do something then I won’t, but if I know there is a purpose even if it’s a horrible task, I’m going to give it my all without complaining.
Lil lady has to listen to the same album in my car everyday. I am only allowed to change it to something else when she gets out of the car and I’m driving around without her. I know this album word for word. It’s actually called ‘Purpose’ by Justin Bieber. I wasn’t a massive fan of his work until this album. Even as it’s played every single day at the same sound frequency, it speaks to me differently everyday. Even though me and the boys resent having to hear the same thing everyday and we can’t wait to switch over to the radio when lil lady is dropped off at school first, there’s a purpose in it. Every single day we are reminded that we have a purpose and we are here to live that purpose. I actually think lil lady has a purpose in ensuring we never forget that. Due to that album there’s absolutely no chance of that.
We are all here for a purpose. I hope and pray we all realise what that is and discover it before we depart so we can live and enjoy our purpose.

Peace and love

MrsJK