Words to inspire Alphabet Advent Calendar 1112

Day 11

K is for Know.

Yes I know… I thought that too. I tried to explore another word but I kept returning to this one. I realised actually the word ‘know’ is significant for our journeys. To know, is to be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information. To know is to have the information and knowledge about something. I often hear people say that knowledge is power. There’s something in the Bible that says people perish because of lack of knowledge. There are things we need to know for a successful journey.

However, as I’ve explored before, there are some things we will never know in this life. This may be frustrating but I just don’t think we are meant to know everything. If we did there will be no need for trust, hope and faith. Everything would be predictable. Why would we need to put any effort into things because we would know the outcome regardless.

However I want to discuss ‘knowing ourselves’. I think this is one thing we should know all about. I struggled with my identity and who I was for many years. I didn’t quite know who I was, which meant I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing. This resulted in me following other people, doing what others did and trying to fit in with those people because I was fascinated by them.

I spent lots of time exploring others and trying to figure them out but I didn’t spend much time working myself out. I almost became a clone of some people and actually became like a puppet to them which wasn’t me at all. I didn’t know who I was so I became what I thought others would want me to be. It was a sad state of affairs.

Trying to be someone else was hard work. It was so tiring. But then on the other hand exploring who I was, was quite painful because I didn’t like what I saw. I didn’t realise that the person I didn’t like wasn’t actually the real me either. I was changed by some of my own actions, things that had happen to me and the circumstances I was involved in.

One day someone close asked me “Do you know who you are?” I think I got defensive and said yes but then I thought actually no I don’t. That was one of the biggest problems. How could I walk on the path set for me if I didn’t even know who me was?

Sometimes we know who we are but we intentionally change it because who we are draws hurt and pain into our lives. Yes I’ve done that! I know I am a very kind individual and I can be selfless to the end. However, one day I stopped being kind because I was tired of my kindness being taken for weakness. When I stopped being kind, I turned into a miserable person. I wasn’t being who I knew I was meant to be. Thankfully, I turned it around and became that kind person again. I was just mindful of people that would try to take advantage. I felt so much better because I knew I was back. Even if I don’t get the same kindness back, as long as I still put myself first, I’m going to be kind. That’s me!

There are things in our lives that change us for the better or sometimes not, but I believe that the person we are has already been designed but we need to discover it if we don’t already know. I used to doubt myself a lot. I would doubt my ability and all sorts. Those close to me used to tell me off for doing that. Some people would get quite annoyed with me because they could see that I didn’t know who I was or I just didn’t believe it. It is easier to see things in others than in yourselves though.

Since being freer I have discovered more about me so I know a lot more about myself. I don’t know everything because I’m still a work in progress but I know the fundamental things which help me stay grounded. Knowing me is helping me to live my life. It’s hard to live my life when I don’t know who I am. I’ve tried it and it was an utter failure.

Do you know who you are? If not please take time to investigate and build a knowledge bank all about you. Before you get to know other people, get to know you. When we know who we are and live that life, we will find that we start attracting people that belong in our journey rather than those who don’t. Well I’ve found that to be true. I actually think, negativity struggles to have eye contact with me now. It knows I know so it doesn’t waste it’s time. I know I am peculiar, I know I am unique. No one has the same fingers or toes as me.

If you can do anything on this Sunday please find time to think about who you are and what you have become. If there are things you know that aren’t part of you, please work on ways to dissolve them.
When you know, you can go and your life will flow better.

Peace and love

MrsJK