Autism Awareness Month Day 22

It’s Friday, I’m happy happy!!
This is the day I usually take Nae-Nae to school with us in the car. I have to get the work home life balance right and make sure I get to take both children to school at least once a week. As Nae-Nae still needs to open the gate with the caretaker we have to leave the house earlier than usual so I have enough time to pick up JJ’s friend, drop the boys across town and get back to Nae-Nae’s school in good time.
Fridays are clearer on the road so it’s a better today to do this journey as the anxiety levels remain low if there’s not much traffic. It’s less stressful for everyone in the car including JJ’s friend who is use to us and our routine now.
We were all fed, bathed and dressed and out of the door by 7.45am. There was a vehicle parked in front of my car blocking the way out. They are doing work on my neighbour’s roof so they were getting ready for that job but I tell you they positioned themselves in the wrong spot lol. I kindly asked them to move and there was a slight delayed reaction like I wasn’t being heard. The kids got into the car just in case they didn’t quite understand what I was saying. I then said it again got in the car and started it up. I think then they fully understood that I meant now not in 5 minutes, now! It was far too early for them to see my ignorant face so I’m glad I didn’t have to say it a third time lol.
The roads were clear so it was all good. As we approached JJ’s school there was a man who is advertising something for a shop and he was in his costume but bending down fixing something and it looked like he was getting dressed. I said to JJ, “Look Spider-Man is getting dressed for his day of promotion.” JJ looked over and looked at me rolled his eyes slightly like ‘Whatever mum.’ His face was classic and really made me laugh. I know sometimes he thinks his mum thinks she’s funny and she is a little wacky. The facial expressions this boy gives me at times have me on the floor sometimes.  He really gets humour now. In the past jokes would just fly over his head.
After we dropped the boys and headed to Nae-Nae’s school she noticed a big lump of horse poo on the floor so she called me to look. When I turned around to look she cracked up laughing. She knew it wasn’t something I would fancy seeing just after breakfast. To add to the humour I made a joke about it and that was it she laughed and laughed and laughed. Humour and laughter is good for the soul.
We got to her school really early by 8.10 so we sat in the office area as it was a little chilly and we waited for the caretaker. He seems to look out for us too so when he approached the gate I saw him look around and spot us in the office area, he waited for Nae-Nae to get to the gate and greeted us as she skipped in. I think he’ll miss us when Nae-Nae leaves in July.
I also love going to the school playground at least once a week as I catch up with what’s been happening. The other children love to talk to me. My lil Neph, as I call him seems to like it when I’m there too as he will spot me from the other side of the playground, run up to me as I open my arms wide ready and he gives me the biggest huge ever. I do love that boy! He is also on the spectrum and he is yet another amazing boy. His parents actually call him “Amazing boy,” so I join in and call him that too.
When the teachers came out to collect the children Nae-Nae’s face dropped. I knew why, it was about the netball. She didn’t want her teacher who wasn’t in school yesterday to ask her the score. However she didn’t which was good but Nae-Nae still had a face like thunder. I asked her if she’s worried about the game today and she nodded. I told her I would have to tell Mrs Lexus (obviously that’s not her real name so don’t go looking up a Mrs Lexus lol) and Nae-Nae said “No mummy don’t.” Mrs Lexus overheard so of course I had to tell her. I whispered quietly that Nae-Nae is a bit anxious about the game because yesterday didn’t go well. Mrs Lexus took over and reassured Nae-Nae that they were going to have a lovely day of learning so she should concentrate on that and don’t worry about what happened yesterday as its a new day. Nae-Nae smiled. Seriously I love that woman. We have been blessed with great teachers for our children I must say! There’s only ever been one in history of my children’s schooling that we didn’t connect with completely but that person was still great at their job we just didn’t click. For me having a great connection with someone that spends a considerable amount of time with our children is very important to me but I may have been the one to cause the disconnect too, so it is what it is.
Anyway off to work I went and I had a good day too. After work I collected JJ who waited for me and then got to the netball match as soon as we could. I remembered to pack the game play rules visual so I tidied it up and took it with me. When we arrived they hadn’t started, perhaps the other school were a bit late getting there but for  whatever reason I was glad. This gave me the chance to call Nae-Nae over, show her the game play visual to jog her memory. As we were going through it the coaches came over and looked at the visual. I could see their faces they were very impressed. One of them commented and said “Wow you must have worked hard on that last night.” Nae-Nae smiled and JJ gave his sister some encouragement. He said “Stick to mum’s game plan and it will be fine.” Aww bless him! He totally believes in what I do.
The other opponents were like giants compared to her so I shouted on the pitch “just jump high and remember David and Goliath.” One of the parents turned around and looked at me and smiled but really she wanted to burst into laughter so I laughed to give her the permission to laugh too and she did.
Boy oh boy oh boy, Nae-Nae stuck to the game plan rules and I kept reminding her throughout to keep the gap tight and stick like glue. I kept showing her the visual as a reminder that she was doing great and if she followed that and did her best that’s all that matters. Did it work? Oh yes she was on fire blocking the ball, chasing her opponent down, it was beautiful to watch. Her coach commented and said “Wow all the hard work is paying off.” It was such a close game and then wait for it… They won 3-2!! We were all ecstatic! This was their first win as a team this season.
OMG Nae-Nae’s face was a picture! She went up to her coach to ask whether they won or lost just so she can hear the words. As the coach said the words “We won!” She jumped up and down, cheered and hugged the coach. She then ran over to JJ and I and gave us a *high five.* That right there made my year!!! I really believe that the visual had a massive impact on her play. Not only did she understand the commands she could visualise what it looked like by remembering the picture. This took away the anxiety around just trying to understand the words that came out of the coaches and my mouth like yesterday.
While we waited for Nae-Nae, JJ said “Mum why aren’t you on their team as an assistant coach?” I just laughed and reminded him that I don’t actually work for the school that’s why. He said “Well you can be a parent helper, cos you know you helped them win that game right?” Hmmmm that got me thinking… It is also lovely to know that my boy totally believes in me and he watched me. Admittedly, I wasn’t only encouraging Nae-Nae, I forgot myself at times and was encouraging the other team mates to do certain things too. I just can’t help myself. I noticed during home games our coaches are the referees too so I think it’s hard to continue to coach your team and be an impartial referee so they can’t say much to their team so I kind of intervene. They haven’t told me to back off yet lol but if they do I will. I am 100% sure they are happy for me to give Nae-Nae 1:1 coaching from the sidelines so I do stick to that most of the time.
We picked up take away for the children on the way home. We don’t cook on a Friday and I was going out to eat. I did forget to ask MrJK if I should pick him up something though but he sorted himself out.
Once Nae-Nae had finished eating and had time to let the food digest a bit, she got dressed ready for swimming. I gave the swimming instructor a heads up beforehand on Nae-Nae’s possible mood in case they lost the game so when we arrived the instructor asked how was it and I was happy to say “Nae-Nae is happy as they won.”
The last time Nae-Nae was at the pool she had her lesson at a different time of the day due it being the holidays. It was Good Friday. As her lesson was during the usual public swimming time she was in the pool and all of a sudden they started to play music. This caused Nae-Nae high levels of discomfort so although the world doesn’t evolve around her, her wonderful instructor asked the pool staff to turn the music off while Nae-Nae was having a lesson and they agreed. I was totally grateful. Anyway Nae-Nae was a bit worried about that again so when we got to the pool she asked the lady at reception whether there will be music playing. The lady confirmed that there wouldn’t be. Nae-Nae saw a lifeguard and asked him, he told her the same thing. Then when she got into the pool she blocked her ears just in case and asked her instructor who also confirmed it. Her instructor then remembered why she asked that. That kid doesn’t forget anything!

Nae-Nae had a lovely swim. It’s like therapy for her. She has a 1:1 lesson every week and it’s not cheap but it’s money well spent. It’s another outlet for her. Her instructor is incredible with her too. She has a child on the spectrum too so no explanation needed she just gets it! We’re so blessed to have been given such people to work with our children. This is one of the highlights of Nae-Nae’s week. I also get a hot minute just to sit still and watch her, well if I don’t find something to do like texting and making phone calls… Today I replied to one text and then just watched her float around so gracefully. Its wonderful to watch. I have so much love that girl.
She was out and dressed as quick as a flash and I got us home in no time as I needed to get ready to go out for the evening. I told the ladies I would be a little late but I still hate being late so I had a super speedy bath and got dressed and kissed the family good night and out the door I went.
I was meeting up with a group of ladies who all have children on the spectrum but they also share a similar ethnicity to me. The people who set up this ‘group’ noticed that many families from our ethnicity don’t always embrace support and interventions well and tend to keep their children in even more than most. It could be a cultural thing. Support usually comes from the family and things are mainly dealt with in house and to have others come in to help isn’t usually received well.
I’ll be honest, I used to find that difficult to comprehend why anyone would have that approach because I think support is so important, but I think that is down to the job I do. I have seen how interventions and support can help transform lives so I’m a great promoter of it. I’ve always been open to support, although a lot of interventions I have provided myself. However that’s not because I don’t believe in support its just because I knew I had something personally to give so I couldn’t wait for other people to do it and sit down and do nothing. I noticed gaps and I filled them that’s all.
Anyway we meet up once every two months to socialise with each other and we have an social media group where people share different things. Today we decided to go bowling and then out for a meal after.
I arrived 10 minutes late but I was the second one there. Other women got stuck in traffic. As we couldn’t wait we had to start playing the game so we set it up and the other woman and I took the turns of the other ladies until they arrived. I pretended not to be too competitive but I was annoyed with myself as I was getting strikes for the other women I was playing for in their absence and not for myself. Arghhh.
When the other women arrived they took over and that’s when I changed the gear slightly. I had put one person’s score close to mine and when she came she was getting strikes and overtaking me. I couldn’t have that lol! I am extremely competitive but I spoke it in my head, I can’t lose this lol. Phew I won! Then I bragged loudly LOL.
When we went to dinner and I tell ya I was on the floor laughing! The evening was just too funny. I laughed and laughed until my belly hurt me and my eyes watered. I did stir some of the jokes by taking the mickey out of one person’s issues with her food order. Something similar happened last time too so it’s a running joke. We love her though! We all left laughing our heads off about a joke regarding contactless cards. Seriously I was getting chest pains because I was laughing so much. I laughed all the way home too.
It’s good to laugh and with the lives we lead if laughter isn’t involved things will be very dull and painful. It’s also really important for us to have time away from being mothers, working women/business women, wives/partners and just be ourselves. All the other things are important but we have to get the balance right!
Laughter is one of the emotions at the heart of our home. MrJK is the lead comic. I know I gave him the time of day when we first met because he made me laugh so much when I was recovering from so much pain. Then God gave me a child with a dry sense of humour like mine and then BANG on 1st April the original prankster and joker aka Nae-Nae landed in our lives. I laugh on a daily basis! I’m blessed!!!
Peace and Love

MrsJK