Autism Awareness Month Day 20

Aww my little cherub wasn’t a happy bunny this morning. Although she didn’t mind the visit she has to go to she hated that she was missing school, even if it was only an hour and a half. On the way there she cried so I had to bring out the inappropriate humour. I can hear you all shaking your heads in despair but trust me she found these jokes online and they are so bad yet so funny to her and whatever mood she’s in if she hears these with an American accent she will laugh and laugh and laugh. I also had to threaten to put the farting bum song on but she drew the line there and pretended to be happy.
When we arrived her face was full of anxiety and stress, not because she was nervous or worried about the appointment but the fact she was missing parts of her normal school day. She asked me the time and when she looked it was 8.50am. All she could think about was the fact that school had started and it was done without her. This is really rare as she has not been absent from the school for years where she hasn’t been in school in the morning to register first. She burst into tears again so I sat her on my knee hugged and comforted her. I spoke words of reassurance and no matter how many times we had prepared her for today, nothing was making the pain that she was feeling go away. It broke my heart watching her. Some ladies that knew her also came over and spoke to her but she still wasn’t hearing it. I just let her cry it out until the appointment started. At which point she was still thinking about missing school but we had half of her with us at the appointment and there were smiles from her some of the time, so she was pulling herself through it. She enjoyed herself really.
After that I took her back to school and when we got to the gate she could hear that it was breaktime so she ran as fast as she could and I ran to catch up with her. She usually has a special job at breaktime and lunchtime so she wanted to get to it. The anxiety and panic crept in again but as I signed her in the staff member that greeted her must have read my note as she worked with my strategy which was good and Nae-Nae received the information she needed but still wanted to double sign herself in for her lunch option. I saw her rush through to her class and I just prayed that the rest of the day would be fine.
Just going back to the staff member again, one thing I always say to other parents and this isn’t always easy but building a great relationship with schools is imperative to our children’s success. I remember going to a talk at JJ’s school once and the head confirmed what I know to be true. Children spend more of the waking day with us as parents. I know it in minutes and seconds actually but I won’t bore you with the figures. Well, this means that we have to be their primary educators not the schools. Schools are there to support us to educate our children and not the other way round so if we rely on the school for all education needs, I’m sorry but that isn’t the best way forward for our children.
Over the years teaching staff have always acknowledged this with us and stated that I’m the expert and they are correct. Not the expert in Autism because you know how I feel about that, an Autism expert doesn’t exist on this earth in my view, but I am an expert in my children. For this reason, never has any teaching staff member objected to my proposed strategies. Never! I also have a lot of teaching friends and family members who confirm that they will also work with parents for the best of the child and they value partnership working with families.
Ok not everyone will have the same experiences I have had and there could be a number of reasons for that, but my view is don’t say people won’t comply if you haven’t even tried. My children have always attended mainstream schools but I also tell parents of children in special schools that as much as you know that your child’s needs are more accurately met in the provisions that you have chosen, please, please, please still do lots of things at home to help educate that child. If you know it’s not within your capacity to do so, please ask for help. There are lots of services that can assist and lots of charities and organisations that have been set up to also meet the needs of your community where government services are limited so please look into them. If they aren’t helpful please continue to read blogs like this and others especially written by parents as you might get tips you need that will be life changing.
I went back to work after the appointment and I won’t lie but Nae-Nae was on my mind a lot. I don’t like to know she is in pain or upset so I was really praying she was ok. I knew school would phone me if she wasn’t though but that thought doesn’t go away. After school apparently Nae-Nae had a face of thunder but the teacher mimed that she had been fine. One of her friends was behind her and asked why she looked like that and Nae-Nae explained that she missed things. Her friend, bless her explained that all they did was SATs revision which Nae-Nae had already done so she missed nothing. That cheered Nae-Nae up. Her friends are really good and so in tune with her and that’s one thing I really like about her classmates. People give children a lot of stick but actually the majority of them aren’t bullies and the majority of them have been raised well to have love and have an understanding (even if it’s just a little) for difference. Well actually it starts from the home just like education. If parents teach their children about embracing the difference and celebrating uniqueness there will be more understanding  and awareness everywhere.
I can’t guarantee that I would have done this or not whether I had children with additional needs or not (I can’t say either way because I do) but we often look up other conditions that affect other children. This is one of Nae-Nae’s favourite pass times though. Nae-Nae knows someone who is visually impaired so we read some stories online about the joys and challenges in these cases and watch YouTube videos. You can find all sorts on YouTube. My aim in doing this is to help my children understand the world around us. Creation is beautiful and there are lots of different shades, cultures and characteristics of human beings but we all live together in this big world.
Dinner was beautifully cooked before MrJK had to leave but Nae-Nae had to play a couple of games of Awari before he could go anywhere. She did that and they drew and this time he won one. She was fine about it though. A change has come.
Nae-Nae had yet another wobbly tooth, they all seem to be coming out at once. This must be a puberty burst time. She asked me to wobble it and then she wobbled it until it came out. She was so pleased with herself for doing that. I reminded her to wrap it in a tissue so this time the fairy won’t drop it and I set myself a reminder to collect it from under the bed and exchange it for £1 lol. I know it’s a lot for a tooth. I think it was about 10 pence in my day, but in my day 10p could buy a lot of sweets. It’s called inflation.
Nae-Nae and I had a chat about the appointment this morning and how she felt and how she feels now. She was a lot calmer about missing school as I think she finally believes that it won’t affect her full attendance and she wasn’t against doing that again in June. There’s another appointment scheduled for then so we shall see how that goes. She did tune into the appointment though as she talked about the things she liked and the people she liked. She was taught a song and she remembered it. I think now she’s done it once it won’t be as hard the next time, well I’m hoping.
Bath and bed for us all and I think we were all out by 9.30pm. It’s nearly the weekend again yay.
Peace and Love

MrsJK