Autism Awareness Month Day 17

Happy Sunday again!

It’s becoming a habit and routine now at 7.30am on a Sunday I get woken out of bed no matter how tired I am, whether I went out the night before or not, by Nae-Nae who wants dippy (soft boiled) egg with toast ‘soldiers’ as we call them and always wants me to make it. I think this is the only thing I make better than MrJK so they come and get me. I do make the most perfect egg though, if I do say so myself.
Nae-Nae gets me up to make it for the family and then she gets back into bed. Not only do we all have that but we all have breakfast in bed. I make and provide room service to everyone on a tray with freshly squeezed juice or herbal tea. I properly get into the role and everything. The only thing I’m missing is the outfit, well I’m not being 100% truthful… I have an outfit but it’s not fit for this purpose my children will be horrified!! Nae-Nae tells me off for wearing anything remotely revealing so can you imagine? I actually wonder whether she was hand picked by my late mother and sent down to keep me in line..??!!
After breakfast we all went in the bath one by one and everyone brought me clothes to iron. It seemed to be a green top and denim day all round. Colour coordinated gone crazy. I think this is learnt behaviour as my children also select underwear to match the colours that they are wearing like anyone can see it. That’s something I do matching undies to match the outer. Strange but true!
As we were getting ready the headphones we usually take to church for Nae-Nae weren’t anywhere to be seen. Nae-Nae doesn’t always feel able to engage with all aspects of the service so she watches videos I have downloaded for her with headphones so the noise doesn’t disturb anyone else. Therefore if we couldn’t find those exact headphones, oh boy there maybe be problems. JJ and I searched high and low while Nae-Nae was in the bath. She had only used them the week before so they shouldn’t have been far. JJ decided to look in the storage boxes under her bed and the ones at the front with particular gadgets in them didn’t have the headphones. My heart was beating, where could they be? JJ pulled out all the other boxes and I told him they wouldn’t be in there as the boxes are hard to get to and logic suggests if they were tidied away they would be in the first boxes that were in reach. Besides the boxes at the back do not have anything relating to headphones in there so it’s not likely they would be there. However, JJ just looked at me with a look like ‘you think so mum?’ He carried on pulling out the boxes and said “Mum, if dad is putting things away he will just put things where he finds a space to so if it’s out of reach its out of reach.” He opened the last box and it had the art table cloth on top so the contents of the rest of the box wasn’t visible. I said to JJ, let’s look somewhere else as it won’t be in there. JJ took out the cloth and pulled out the headphones. I asked him “But why would it be in there?” He replied “Why not? It’s dad!” I tried not to laugh too hard. I do love that boy as he is so me. That’s just something I would have said and the facial expression too matched my ‘Oh please’ look. He was right though if the headphones were ‘in the way’ they will be tucked away out of sight out of reach in a place that has a space. #Mylife

We got ready and off to church early as we do. Nae-Nae has to get there early and be the first in the back hall. When we arrived the caretaker said hello and saw we were going in the other direction to the main door and he told me the main door was opened. I just replied politely “Thanks but Nae-Nae has to go through the other door.” Bless him he knew not to wonder why or ask why he just knew so he just smiled and wished us a lovely day.
I was on children church duty for under 5s so I set up the activities I had planned for the day and left Nae-Nae in the hall listening to a video and I went to the main worship area. I forgot something in the hall so I returned back. I bumped into one of the other leaders who asked whether I needed anything for children’s worship. I looked at her and thought OMG!!! I hadn’t checked the rota for that bit so I didn’t know I was on duty for both. I had a slight panic thinking how will I mix the two groups together for that part and do some form of worship activity that they can all engage with?
I went away to a quiet room, located my guitar which I leave at church for such days of fresh inspiration or unplanned tasks and just thought for a second. I was reminded of a song I used to sing when I was a kid and I thought I could do a discussion piece around it. I got a flip chart and Nae-Nae asked to help me write the words so I could teach the children. While I was doing that, something just said “no” inside of me. It just wasn’t comfortable. I was reminded of an interactive song I wrote which I taught some of the children a few weeks earlier and they loved it because it was all about being happy and loving God but worshipping him in their own special way.
When I wrote that song I had children with additional needs in mind. I totally believe that even those that don’t speak can communicate with our creator but they do it in a way unknown to us sometimes. I’ve seen it in my children with them beautiful relationships with God. Nae-Nae isn’t big on praying all the time but she finds other ways to connect. Well this song gives each child the opportunity to express gratitude and praise  in their own special way and gives everyone else the chance to join in. It just seemed like a significant song for a significant time.  The kids loved it and the little ones were able to join in before I took them to their room with my colleague. It was an awesome time and I’m so blessed to have a memory bank of songs I can use on the spot.
After church we dashed home and had lunch  quickly and off we went to the sports club we run. Nae-Nae stopped coming to this sports club for a while because she didn’t enjoy it. It was at a time when we were trying different things out and at times I over complicate things with grand ideas when actually simplicity is key. Once we’d worked that out and stayed close to the original vision Nae-Nae returned and absolutely loves it. We played a game of hockey first and every child joined in. We have children with various needs and abilities and there are some times during the session when staff have to work with some children on a 1:1 basis to keep them engaged but this game was really good for all and they all enjoyed it and participated well. It made me think hmm maybe I’ll form a hockey team out of them… I can imagine my staff reading this putting their hands over their faces shouting “No!”  Lol. It’s ok I’m not thinking immediately just perhaps one day.
At the end of the session I was on one again and saw the cage where we keep our equipment and it was a mess. There was no system to it and everything had just been thrown in and there were expired crisps at the bottom, things that shouldn’t be there so I had a sort out just like yesterday. That’s what happens when I start a clear out in one area of my life anything else associated with me that doesn’t look tidy and is accumulating junk needs to be sorted immediately too. It’s like I get palpitations seeing the disorganisation when on a ‘normal’ day it doesn’t bother me. Yes I know it’s weird. I do have traits which pop up now and again.
I found some balloons in the cage, now this is a sports club so I have no idea why balloons should still be in that cage. So I took them out to take home. Nae-Nae asked if she could have one and then another little boy blew up two and put them under his top and started walking home like that. I’m sure you can picture it. In my head I was thinking “please don’t walk all the way home like that.”
We locked up got in the car and caught up with the children walking home. Nae-Nae was in fits of laughter because this really tiggled her sense of humour and Nae-Nae has a fascination with big breasts, I know cringe! She was saying that this boy looked like a child she once knew. She hasn’t seen this child in at least 3 years but she remembered her full name. This child was largely developed in that area at age 11 so Nae-Nae must have been obsessed with looking at her. Oh boy! Poor child! I just hope and pray that Nae-Nae never tried to touch them… She did that to teaching staff in the past. Just go up to them and squeeze because she wanted to know what it felt like cos mummy’s aren’t very big so quite boring for her lol. She would love to hug one of my sis’ in particular just so she could rub her head in there. It was so embarrassing at first. I was going around apologising until I lightened up. She doesn’t do it any more but she still draws her female characters with breasts like they have had implants. It’s highly amusing now.
When we got home we all washed the sports off us and sat round the table for our usual Sunday roast. MrJK cooked Chicken and Salmon. JJ ate salmon, Nae-Nae ate chicken and as for me I ate both. At the table JJ had his iPad with one earphone in his ear so he could still have a conversation with us and Nae-Nae had her IPad with no headphones but with her 3ds too. She watched a video, played a game and ate all the same time. It might seem completely anti-social and bad manners but I have tried to fight it over the years but now I am at peace knowing that this is just what they need to do to remain seated for the length of time to eat a meal and have a conversation as a family. We usually have a informal family meeting during this time and you will be surprised that can really multi-task with all these things going on as well as contribute to the discussions when required.
After dinner I had report number 2 to do all about Nae-Nae. The report took hours so I’m glad I kept the whole evening free. This was equally mentally draining as I had to give an overview of her journey so far and consider strengths, weaknesses and needs. I couldn’t be prouder of both children but there is still a long way to go. However we have made it this far by God’s grace, all other things are possible.
I don’t worry about their future as much as I used to as they keep surprising me day by day so I have just learnt to focus more on today and leave the worries with God. It works, as it helps my own mental health as worrying made me lose hair. It’s not a good look!
Nae-Nae and MrJK played a game of snap with playing cards and she beat him. I was just too engrossed in what I was doing I didn’t get a picture of them playing. I like taking photos of them as it’s such a beautiful image. They have a beautiful relationship and dads get some much bad press and many dads do struggle a bit more with their children with additional needs more than the mothers at first but some don’t. Even if they do, they do catch up! My house is a testimony of that. We all embrace what God has given us. I’m forever thankful.

Peace and love

MrsJK