Autism Awareness Month Day 11

Monday morning yay!! Work again. As I woke up Nae-Nae came to my room said good morning and then she asked to feel my face. She often does that and loves the sensation. She doesn’t feel my face with her hands she does it with her lips and nose. She started on one cheek rubbing her dry soft lips across from side to side. Then she turned my face to get to the other cheek and she did the same. Next my lips and she hovered gently over them and I gave her a gentle kiss, she then needed our noses to touch. That was it and I gave her a big hug. This met her sensory desires and she probably does it at least 3 times a week but there are weeks when she doesn’t do it at all.  She will only do it to me as her safe adult and her mum. MrJK has a thin beard so she doesn’t do it to him as it doesn’t provide her with the sensation she requires.
I got ready and went to work. After a busy day I came home to Nae-Nae calling me to help. She had some bubble gum from the twin’s party and she was trying to master blowing bubbles. MrJK couldn’t help her as he been to the dentist and had some temporary work done and JJ has braces so he can’t chew gum. She was getting quite frustrated as she has been trying for a while and not managing it. She wanted me to give her a step by step demonstration in slow motion so I did. She tried to copy me but bless her the signal communications weren’t going from her eyes to her brain and back to her mouth in the same way they were with mine. She wasn’t able to do certain movements with her tongue and teeth at the same time. I found it quite fascinating how tricky it was and its like second nature to me now as I can do the motion needed. Even with the aid of Nae-Nae’s hands she still wasn’t able to keep the gum where it needed to be to blow. She did however get a little bit of gum out of her mouth and it looked like a small bubble even though it wasn’t so I took that opportunity to congratulate her for that attempt. She was happy enough with that as it looked and felt like a small bubble and she was happy to stop for the day but try another day to produce large bubbles. We will need a whole day on it so until I can give her the full day on it I’ll hide the bubble gum lol.
It was a bit like tying shoe laces with JJ. That process caused him so much stress. His motor skills just wouldn’t enable him to get the combination right no matter what method we explored. He now avoids shoes with laces unless he tucks them in and doesn’t have to tie. Not everyone is able to do everything and if it causes him so much distress then we can just choose to find a way round it for now. He might be able to do it in the future as his motor skills have developed some what but I’ll leave him to suggest that he wants to be taught again.
After dinner, Nae-Nae was obviously bored as she started harassing JJ who just wanted to play on his laptop quietly. She can do that sometimes just get in his face or start poking him like she wants to fight. She ran into me holding her arm like she was wounded badly and complained that JJ scratched her. Proper drama queen. He came running in to explain his version of events and he was simply moving her hand out of his face and he caught her with his nail. Nae-Nae didn’t protest against this version so I knew it was true so I showed a lack of sympathy for her ‘woe is me’ attempt. She seemed annoyed with me and flopped on me in order for me to show her love and compassion. I just distracted her by asking if she wanted to play noughts and crosses. She did, so I told her to look for paper, bring something to lean on and she also picked up my board markers. We needed four different coloured pens for this game. The black pen was used to draw the lines, red was for me to draw my crosses, blue was for her to draw her noughts and green was used to keep the score of who won each game. It’s always this way round! I wonder what will happen if I use a different pen for a different thing? Tonight wasn’t the time to test it out though as this was a distraction strategy.
She started and when she nearly got three in a roll she would put her hand over the square that completed the pattern so I wouldn’t go there and block her so she would win. As I’m training her how to be ok with winning and losing I just moved her hand each time and placed my cross there to block her. She laughed a nervous laugh each time but accepted that I wasn’t going to allow her to win. She has to learn strategies to play fairly but also create opportunities for her to win without me letting her. Throughout the different games she actually found ways to block me from winning and ways to create two ways of getting three in a row at the same time so I could only block her in one area. She was so pleased with herself and we ended in a draw overall playing best of 10 and we won 3 games each and drew the rest. By the end of the game she was so relaxed and calm she just trotted off to the bathroom had a bath, brushed her teeth and got into bed to watch some videos on her iPad. Calm had been restored.
I’m a firm believer in providing distractions when necessary as this can remove anxieties or particular situations before they escalate further. When Nae-Nae used to have meltdowns often, humour could get her out of it quite quickly. There was an inappropriate “bum farting song” that made her belly laugh every time. So yes at times any means necessary. In the middle of the meltdown especially when we’re out in public, I would get my phone out get YouTube up, find the video as quick as I could and play it in her ears with my headphones. As much as she didn’t want to break out of the meltdown this distraction would create uncontrollable laughter and she would often say “No mummy stop.” But I kept playing it until she had been released from the meltdown and calm again. Seriously it worked like a treat. It could get a little tricky if I didn’t have headphones on me, not tricky for her just for me as everyone around would hear what I was playing to my child lol. I would get looks of horror and outrage. But nah I didn’t care, any means necessary!
We have to do what we have to do in this life!

Peace and love

MrsJK