Autism Awareness Month Day 6

I woke up with zero energy but life had to continue, work had to continue. I didn’t sleep much at all but that’s usual to be honest but for some reason my battery is running low at the moment. I think my body also works with the term time clock so this should be my rest period but no I’m still working and even harder than usual.
As I was getting ready for work there was lots of belly laughter coming from Nae-Nae in the next room. JJ went over to her to see what was so funny and then he called me to see because he was outraged that she was laughing so hard about something he didn’t think was funny. Nae-Nae had discovered a video in animation form showing a real life event whereby a man that fell from a really high building and thankfully survived. The image showed him stand at the edge of the building and fall down through the air and crash on the floor. I can see why JJ was outraged. He said “mum that man could have died and she’s laughing!”
Nae-Nae was playing it, reminding it, playing it, rewinding it and in proper hysterics. I explained to her why it’s not funny but she was still cracking up. It wasn’t the fact that he was falling, it’s the way it was portrayed like a really bad video game. You know the one where a character will drop to the ground and their blood and guts pour out as the go splat on the floor. I used this to explain why it was dangerous etc but the girl was still laughing her head off so I knew I wasn’t getting anywhere so I just asked her to stop watching the clip and watch something else.

JJ hovered over to make sure she was watching something appropriate thereafter. He’s like what I said yesterday, upstanding citizen but he’s also law and order and enforcement. Right is right and wrong is wrong. He doesn’t quite grasp why people don’t do what comes second nature to him and what was instilled in him. So when his sister is doing something he considers as inappropriate oh do we all hear about it! It’s not always a bad thing as he is my second eye but at the same time he has needs too and I don’t want him to think that he is her carer. He is so overprotective over her too.
Nae-Nae didn’t get into the same secondary school that JJ goes to and there’s a long story around why I’m not appealing and why I have to go with the confirmations God has brought via Nae-Nae.  I know more and more now that it is right. JJ would probably be thinking about her all day if she was in his school and look for her at break and lunch time to check she’s ok or needs anything and it could become quite an obsession. He told me that’s why he wanted her in the same place so he could look after her. That touched my heart but no I don’t want that for him either. He isn’t her paid carer and he needs to concentrate on his own education and she would get annoyed with him if he was always checking on her especially as she feels she doesn’t need support.

I made a joke that perhaps I’ll get a job in her new school and she looked at me with a face of thunder like don’t you dare however when I am around a lot in her current school doing lots of bits and pieces she is so proud and content. Her friends and in fact most kids at that school when they see me are all over me. I have one of those faces obviously or perhaps it’s because the child in me can’t stop so when I’m waiting to drop Nae-Nae off I’m joining in the playground games lol. When I’m tired in the morning and just plan to sit and wait I’ll get a kid come up to me and ask “MrsJK do you want to play bulldog on behalf of Nae-Nae?” This is because I did it once where Nae-Nae was one of the last children in the game and she was getting tired and she didn’t want to be caught and lose so she asked me to run for her instead. Now I can’t disappoint my girl so of course I said yes and could the children catch me? Nah cos I was on it like sonic whizzing passed them. So now those children remember and just ask me to join at random and I always check with Nae-Nae that it’s ok to do so and I’ve told her teacher who laughed but I know if I hurt myself it on me not the school.
I was about to leave for work when Nae-Nae shouted from the bathroom. I went to her aid and she was sitting on the toilet trying to do you know number 2. She called me to hold her hands to help her push. I was quite shocked to be honest cos it was just another reminder of how far she has come. This used to be a regular thing. She couldn’t go toilet without my assistance and motivation. It was like being a midwife getting a woman to breathe and push. She would hold my hands look into my eyes for encouragement because she just didn’t like the thought and feel of body waste leaving her body so without that motivation she wouldn’t do it. I can’t remember the last time I helped her with this as she opens her bowels daily now and the days when her body will hold onto the waste for several days and weeks if she could, were over. We used to have to monitor when she opened her bowels to count the days in between so when we felt it was coming to a dangerous level we would have to either help induce it or spend hours with her in the bathroom until she released it. Sorry too much information I know…Her diet has always been good so it had nothing to do with the food and we would give her supplements to help the flow but nothing helped because we know she was assisting her body to store it as she didn’t like the sensitivity of the release.
I held her hands and told her to push. I reminded her that I haven’t done this for years and asked if she opened her bowels yesterday and she replied “yes.” We don’t need to check anymore as it’s become second nature. I asked her why she wanted my help this morning and she just smiled that smile like you will know. When she had finished which was really quickly as she didn’t really need my help we washed our hands came out the bathroom and she gave me a big hug. Something in my head told me, she just did that to give me something to write about in my blog… Do you know what? My girl is so in tune I bet she did. This wouldn’t be something I would be telling people about nowadays as it’s something I have forgotten about. It’s like it’s such a distant memory but it’s such a significant one. It used to hurt my heart watching her get in a panic about releasing body waste and being quite distressed. It used to be an organised mission for MrJK and I when it had been several days and we knew we had to help her let go of it. The size of some things that came out of such a little girl was incredible. MrJK had to then break it up otherwise it wouldn’t flush away. Trust me it was no joke! Our parenting has been like that. We had to be a tag team on lots of missions. No we don’t always agree on everything but we work together well as a team the majority of the time.
I had a crazily busy day at work that come 4pm my eyes felt like they were on fire but I still needed to drop JJ to his friends house some miles away for the sleepover. I did that and then came back to cook dinner as I said I would. I do like to help out now and again lol. Then I went back to my work laptop to do a bit more work as there were a few emergency situations I had to deal wit. I then thought I’d have a rest but nah everyone wanted a piece of me so I helped Nae-Nae with revision, helped MrJK with some accounts and admin then I flopped on my bed and was out, well until Nae-Nae came and got me up to help her get a snack. MrJK was laying on the bed next to me watching TV with his back towards me so I didn’t a silent sign to Nae-Nae trying to make her ask her daddy instead but big mouth said “No mummy I want you to do it and Daddy is tired.” Huh???? So which part of me being asleep didn’t show that I was also tired??? I battled my way downstairs and by the time I walked up the stairs again I was alert, so I called my girl on the phone had a lengthy conversation about stuff, texted JJ goodnight and then I fell asleep again.
I do give the impression to people that I’m always bouncing and buzzing but some days my eyes are burning and I’m too tired for words. That was my day 6.

Peace and love

MrsJK