Autism Awareness Month Day 2

World Autism Awareness Day. Everyday is a day to spread awareness but we can also join in with the rest of the world that marks a particular day each year to drive it a bit more.
I spent the day with so many special characters on the Autistic Spectrum at my local charity. If people say children with Autism are all the same in this or that… Please reconsider. I was with several children on the spectrum today and not one child is anything like the other. Yes they all have a similar diagnosis but the spectrum is so wide and the children I was with are a clear testament of that. I won’t trivialise the challenges all parents have as they are very real but I find children on the spectrum very interesting.
One child was a bit distressed about something but then I gave them an educational toy and their thirst for knowledge distracted them. I watched them and thought wow. They have very few words but their brain is very sharp and there is a mini genius in there. Don’t get me wrong not every child will be a Mozart or and Einstein some may not access academia but one thing I know for sure, every person has a purpose and it is our life plan to live in the purpose whatever it may be. Someone’s purpose could be to smile, another’s could be to show those around them what unconditional love is. I have to learn it and re-learn it everyday. Being with these little people totally warms my heart. The vision of this charity was born out of the diagnosis of my children and understanding the challenges other families may have occupying their children at the weekend. Everyone deserves to go out and be themselves in a place they feel safe but also have the opportunity to be around other people that understand a little bit of what they may encounter so they can share experiences. To me it’s just lovely seeing the vision come alive and be fruitful over the last 6-7 years.
I came home as usual during the day to pick up my children so that they could join later sessions for their age group. I usually have a tight window so I expect them to be ready to go. On my way home I called JJ and he sounded a bit sad. He explained that Nae-Nae had given them a tough time, screaming and arguing because she didn’t want to get ready as it was cutting into her playtime. She does this some months so I wasn’t overly surprised but I was running even later than usual so my initial thought was “I don’t have time for this.” I got to the door and I really wanted to flip out but I saw JJ’s face. He was so disappointed and he explained the reaction and how she upset everyone. My heart hurt! Although I was in a hurry I knew I had to deal with the situation with patience and love.
As I entered Nae-Nae’s room she was sitting on the bed with tears rolling down her face. She knew I would be disappointed that she was still in her PJs. I didn’t want to spark off another meltdown by talking to her about what had occurred so I just hugged her and encouraged her to get up and I’d help her to quickly wash and get dressed and she could have a proper bath in the evening. She agreed and we did it as fast as sonic. She loves the sessions so she didn’t want to miss the fun either. She was just on one today. I told her we will have a chat later.
We hung out with some awesome youth who challenged me at a game of pool. When my back was turned the child I was playing with cheated and secretly put some balls in the holes. I looked at him and the table and just asked him to tell me what he did. I find some children on the spectrum have difficulties being consistent with lies which is great for discipline because they will convict themselves lol.  I thought I will ask him once and even if he had the ability to lie, if I repeat the question again a couple of times by at least the 3rd time if it wasn’t truthful he would admit it. I didn’t need 3 chances he laughed at the first question and told me exactly what he did. All I could do is laugh it off well once I explained that cheaters never prosper lol. I’m not sure he got that but it sounded good. I managed to beat him thankfully as it not only proved my point I didn’t have to feel bad about being beaten by a little boy. I’m very competitive too.
As its a long day working I usually order takeaway online via my phone at 3.50pm and collect after the session. It’s funny but I order the same food items each time on the first Saturday of every month with the same collection time every time too lol. Hmm is that a little bit strange? Well as I arrived to collect the man in the shop had my food in his hands and greeted me by name. I laughed cos even though they probably have hundreds of people each week, they probably now expect me and my order at the same time each month. I wonder what they would think if I didn’t order it next month or just order something different? I should try it, but actually I can’t see my children buying into that…
At dinner time I was looking at the children eating. I can’t remember when this thing changed but it was fascinating to watch. Ok sorry I’ll go back a step. When my children were younger Nae-Nae in particular would eat pizza upside down. Well upside down to me and how I was taught. Like most things just because that was the way it’s taught doesn’t mean it’s right or the only way. For her the Pizza slice will be placed on her plate the way up with the topping visible and she would pick up the slice turn it over so the base was on top and the topping side was underneath and then take a bite. I never really understood it and it actually really grated on me so I would always try and get her to turn it over which would be faced by opposition. One day I just gave up and realised that’s the way she needed to eat it so I just left it alone. Anyway I’m not sure when she stopped doing that but today she eats with the topping facing upwards. I’m yet to get to the bottom of that but when I do I’ll share because I’m sure there is a good reason for it.
After dinner Nae-Nae and I had a heart to heart about what happened earlier in the day. She became quite tearful because she knew I wasn’t happy. Usually I would have dealt with it at the time but as other things were going on we had to postpone it. Nae-Nae responds well when I take things back to God our creator and ask her what she thinks about what happened and how she sees it in the light of the world? I try not to make her feel that i’m not please and life is about making me happy because I know i’m not always right either.  She was able to give reasons why her actions were not appropriate and she felt that God wouldn’t want her to mistreat those around her. She didn’t think she showed her brother and dad love but she explained that they were annoying her and making her cut into her playing time to get ready. She has a time set for most things and the time they were asking her to get ready just didn’t fit. So we agreed that in future we will look at a way for her to build in a time to have a bath on a Saturday morning on the charity day as she would usually do on a Saturday and get dressed and ready at that time and then play. She will then be ready when I come to collect her without any stress caused to anyone involved. This was settled. However in walked MrJK and for some reason she did not like the look on his face so it kicked off. He reminded her that he wasn’t pleased with her actions towards him earlier. I huffed (in my head only lol) as I just had a slightly different approach and we had made progress. We are human with different personalities and we do not always have the same ideas about dealing with situations. I do think my way is the best a lot of the time lol, only joking. We often have to find a balance. I’m not a single parent so I can’t and won’t deal with all things in my way only as it will only alienate him. However, I managed to mediate and draw things back to a calm place again. Nae-Nae and MrJK hugged and made up and peace was restored.

After all of that I was absolutely shattered so bath and bed.

Everyday there’s a story so please stay tuned,

Peace and Love

MrsJK