Excited just before Christmas? A day in the life parenting Autism while climbing my mountains

Christmas is a jolly time but is that the case for everyone? We absolutely love Christmas here. It’s a time when we celebrate Jesus coming to the earth. Yeah I here the critics saying he wasn’t born on 25th December but it’s the day that has been selected to remember that glorious day. However the run up to Christmas break isn’t jolly for us all.

I won’t lie I get quite nervous around the last weeks of the school term cos I imagine that something is going to kick off. In many schools this is the week that pretty much everything changes. The routine that children on the spectrum have just managed to memorise is rearranged. There’s pantomimes, Christmas concerts, nativity plays, parties, trees and decorations go up, noise volume goes up with the playing of carols and excited children. Pretty much everything looks different.

Although it’s lots of fun and everywhere looks beautiful I wonder what it’s like in a child that things like this isn’t comfortable. When I piece it all together in my head I imagine lots of ringing, brights colours, lots of bodies all crashing together. Gosh it must hurt!

For us the anxiety levels go through the roof at this time. Although both of them love Christmas Nae-Nae in particular is incredibly anxious about absolutely everything. This year she’s coped much better with the pantomime. Usually I have to ‘bribe’ her to go. I don’t recommend bribery it’s wrong lol. For some children the pantomime is uncomfortable due to the noise and crowds. For Nae-Nae the performers are the problem.

Nae-Nae is an actress already in her own mind so to have to watch other performers get on a stage that she isn’t allowed on and to her act in a way she feel she can top lol is hard for her. I have no idea where she gets these diva qualities from. She came on this earth with different ideas. The way she coped with it this year is to accept that it’s good to watch others and celebrate them otherwise there might be a small audience of supporters when she’s in her own pantomime and theatre. According to her we’re going to run theatre productions in future. I love her faith and ambition.

On the last Monday of term I woke up and prayed for peace and grace. I knew I would need more of it that week. You know when you know something will happen but you don’t know what. You see your children on the edge which you may not always be able to control or manage and they might not be able to either so you all need grace. Monday happened, it was ok then Tuesday you sigh again then Wednesday happens. Yep I get a call. Oh boy!

I hate to make excuses for certain ‘behaviours’ but I predicted it in my head so I already prepared myself for something so I managed it well. Some of you might relate to this whereby actually most weeks you prepare yourself for something whether it occur at school, college at home, out and about etc and if nothing happens you rejoice. If something does happen you find a way to manage it. I’m managing to do it without tears now lol so I know my own mental health is being restored to its good place. It has been knocked so many times by lots of situations in our lives this year but God is our strength.

The beautiful thing about my children now is they have a good concept of what has happened and what went wrong for then once they have reflected on it (not always at the time) so when they articulate it we can work through it together. I know many children/adults who are not at that stage and may not be able to do that. As I’ve been there I know how challenging that is too. Therefore, I ask for more grace for you!

Then the night before the last day of term happened. If you love sleep then you would have been screaming if my night was on the TV screen for you to watch. Literally every hour I was up for long periods at the shout of “Mummy.” After a while I just decided to remain at the bottom of Nae-Nae’s bed then she wouldn’t have to call out. The levels of anxiety were through the roof and it was about one particular thing that we had discussed and she knew it was going to occur the next day and she knew she would be upset by it. We explored ways to manage her upset days before but yet when we got to the night before it was still too painful for her to imagine. So she was up every blinking minute for reassurance, she wanted me to pray with her for peace. She wanted me to go through the management plan again and again and again. I knew if I didn’t do it the fall out would have been greater. She was also due to sing a duet in the school play so I wondered how she would stay awake for that and sing beautifully.
When the alarm went off I was seriously crying for mercy. Nae-Nae on the other hand was bright and bushy tailed like she had slept for 12 hours. Perhaps in her own head she had and that night for her was just a dream but it was very real for me. I asked her if she was tired and she looked at me like what a silly question to ask. Her response “No mummy why would I be?”
My reply “WELL I AM!”
She just laughed at me like to say ‘you lightweight get a grip’. All I could do was laugh and cry inside at the same time. No need to worry about her singing performance then. Correct!!! She was just stunning in the show as usual. She has a wonderful tone and is pitch perfect. No sleep required then…! She’ll do great on tour. Me on the other hand needs to get exercising more and continuing with my good eating plan to be able to sustain this life.

End of school came and she wasn’t happy but I quickly helped her recover with strategies we discussed and we had an amazing boy come home with us for a little bit so she was distracted quickly. I watched them both flop on JJ’s bed and sit still and calm playing a game together. It was like there was a sigh of a relief from them both as they had got through all those changes and and all the hype. Bless them.
I’m shattered by end of term too and it’s good to go to work and put my phone on silent cos I know there won’t be any calls that make my heart race.

I see lots of pictures on social media of children enjoying things like winter wonderland and see children shopping with their parents in busy towns and I reflect and think about all those children that will see that as their worse nightmare as for the parents… they wouldn’t even think about it cos they know how hard it will be. To those parents I wish and pray for more grace for you!
When Christmas arrives we will enjoy it. It’s been a tough year and we will think of those that have gone before us and won’t be on the end of the phone line or around our tables in the natural but those we can still touch and hug will get the biggest squeeze from me.

Enjoy!

Love, Light and Peace

MrsJK