Hello – A day in the life parenting Autism while climbing my mountains

There are two calls in life that as a parent and a believer you expect to get. One call I’m praying won’t come for many, many years but it could be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. No one knows. The other call I pretty much expect everyday and if it doesn’t come it’s a massive relief.

What are these calls? Yeah that’s right the call to heaven and the call from your children’s school. I’ve spoken to the Lord and asked that although the call to heaven will definitely come, if possible I would like to complete some of the assignments I know I’ve been set on this earth first so hopefully that will delay it for a bit, however this life isn’t about me so when it’s my time it will be.

To have a talk to your child’s school asking them to please don’t make that call that I dread everyday isn’t quite that simple but because you need to know if something is wrong. When your child is poorly that’s it you have to drop everything. When your child ‘kicks off’ or has a not so good day which as a parent of two children on the Autistic Spectrum could be any day, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing, when you get that call, you get that call and it requires a response or some action. Personally I wouldn’t have it any other way though as there’s nothing more important but this is what it looks like… *RING RING* caller ID “Child’s School” Pain in my stomach, hands shake, a long slow blink, deep breath and then if I haven’t passed out I press the button to answer. “Hello MrsJK” my reply as my heart is racing “Hello” but really I don’t even want to say “Hello” I just want to jump and ask “What’s happened?” But that’s not very polite so I say “Hello” and pause and wait for them to tell me the purpose of the call and if I manage to hear above the beating of my heart ticking like a time bomb then great.

One day JJ was abroad with the school and I was on my phone speaking to someone when his school called on the other line. OMG I have never jumped off the phone as quickly as that in my life and leave my friend’s heart skipping a beat too cos I made her panic too. I just heard “Hello MrsJK” and I didn’t do the “Hello” that day I just jumped right in with “What’s happened?” The poor lady must have thought huh? And replied  “I received your letter requesting blah, blah and I thought it’s easier to call you back.” The shame!!!! She wasn’t calling about JJ being away at all and she probably didn’t even know he was away when she called as there was only a few students that went. I felt so bad for panicking like that. I wonder if the angels had a good chuckle and suggested quietly “take a chill pill MrsJK”

I’m not going to lie sometimes it’s easier said than done when it comes to my children. I’m sure many will relate to this when I say my children are my world and everything I do is for them and because of them. Well actually I’m assuming you can relate, maybe I’m a little obsessed with them…?! Nah that’s not that, I just think that so far our journeys haven’t been the easiest and everyday is different from the day before and what we all do to get through each day in a world where not everyone gets us or know why we do things, but they expect us to conform to the way they do things, is no joke.

That’s the reason why I really dread that second call because it might not be because they are poorly it could be that they weren’t able to get through what appeared in their head out in the way they wanted to or what they remembered, triggered off something else or someone approached them in a way that didn’t make them feel comfortable or they just didn’t understand someone’s tone of voice and thought they had done something wrong or the certain noise level caused them pain and….or… anything! The probability of any of this occurring could be actually everyday and several times throughout the day or nothing at all. We can pre-empt somethings and deal with accordingly but not everything all of the time.

So actually I have also had to learn when I get a call if they are ok and whoever they are with can manage the situation even for a while before I rush there then that’s important too. I remember one time when I was on the massage bed having my monthly full body massage treat when I got a call to say Nae-Nae is a bit poorly so she’s struggling. I asked whether she has a high temperature but she didn’t and she wasn’t being sick or had a head injury, neither was she at risk or a risk to anyone so she could stay there for a least an hour. They agreed and I continued with my massage. There’s not much that can get in the way of that. It’s my thing for me every month without fail.

The point I’m making is I am nervous about that call but when I get it, it’s still important to put things into perspective. It’s also a good way of spreading awareness with the people your children are with. “Thank you for letting me know but please crack on with that for a bit cos it’s actually ok.” Although we might panic when we get the call it’s how we deal with the call which is vital to our survival and wellbeing.

We received one of the worse phone calls ever recently the call that I think most people dread even more than these other two calls. The call that your child has been called by the Almighty. From experience that outweighs any call. So now calls from the school I’m able to say “Hello.” And not just “What’s happened?” Because we have dealt with the worse call ever and we’re still standing so even if I cry or want to cry when I get the school call I have faith that whatever happened or happens we as a family will get through it.

So I’m not jumping to the “What’s happened?” I’m just answering with “Hello” and breathe. It’s not just about politeness anymore it’s about ‘All things are possible’ so whatever it is I can take a second to breathe. Can you?

Love and peace

MrsJK